I wanted to apologize for telling that hurtful and insensitive joke the other day. I could tell that it bothered you and I didn't know how to apologize at the time. I know that I can be very defensive, but I understand that this wasn't "just a joke." Rather, this is something that's indicative of a larger cultural narrative that is thoughtless and actively damaging. I can see why it would offend you, now that I've had time to pause and reflect.
I'm sorry I told you to "lighten up." I think I was just embarrassed at that point to be caught out in perpetuating negative stereotypes, and I lashed out. It was callous and rude of me to pile blame on top of my previous comments. I have no excuses.
I won't be making jokes of that nature again, no matter the group, and I promise to think before I mindlessly repeat material I find on the internet. I'm truly sorry for the hurt that I caused you.
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