Writing an apology letter to your spouse can be one of the most difficult things a husband or wife will ever have to do. However, writing down your apology can be beneficial to a relationship because this strategy avoids direct confrontation and allows both people to compose their feelings. If you know you have done something wrong, writing an apology instead of saying you're sorry in person is a great way to make sure you say what you mean and don't offend your spouse in the heat of the moment.
The first thing you need to do in order to write a great apology letter is really mean that you're sorry. If you're not really ready to apologize, your letter will sound false. However, sometimes writing down why you're sorry can help make you realize why you regret what you've done.
In terms of content, you should make it absolutely clear from the very first sentence what this letter is about. Many people use a letter to announce that they are leaving their spouse, and you do not want to worry your partner.
You should begin by outlining what you are apologizing for. You should explicitly name the behavior or act that you regret. Do not apologize in general terms because this often makes the recipient wonder if you actually understand what you did wrong.
If possible, you should try to explain how you plan to remedy the situation. Sometimes, the apology itself is the remedy. Do not place a bribe in an apology letter, as this will usually make the problem worse in the long run. Also, remind your spouse of what you love about them and how much you value your relationship.
While a letter that follows the above guidelines will be effective, some advanced strategies can help you create the best possible letter. Always phrase your sentences in direct terms. Don't bracket your apology in blame toward the other person, or make statements about what you think they think. When you've written your letter, read it aloud to yourself and make sure you don't sound insincere. If you sound insincere speaking the letter aloud, it's too early to give it to your partner and you need to rewrite your apology to reflect your true feelings.
The finishing touches on an apology letter to your spouse involve the presentation of the letter. You should, if possible, handwrite the letter on appropriate stationery. When you give it to your spouse, you should probably leave it in a place where he or she will see it and wait until you are certain they have read it to approach them. Set up the letter in an obvious place with a minor gift or small token, such as a flower, as your white flag of surrender. Again, do not place the letter with a bribe or you will risk burying the problem instead of fixing it.
Writing an apology letter to your spouse does not take the place of discussion, but it can open the door to calmer negotiations. Using the strategy above, you can be sure that you are doing your best to get back on the path to a peaceful relationship.
Index of letter of apology templates