Apology Letters

   Insincere Apology Letter for Shoplifting


Dear {Name},

You caught me shoplifting in your store on {date}, and for that I am sincerely sorry. I understand that even if you're taking a cheap, $1.50 figurine (which is still a 300% markup of the amount of money it cost to make in a sweatshop in Taiwan) it's still stealing. Which is wrong.

I have learned a valuable lesson from all of this that I hope you'll believe is making me change my ways. I'll probably wear baggier clothing next time, for instance. And look for cameras before shoving an entire tea set up my shirt. That was ill-advised and truly criminal as far as stupidity goes. I understand that I deserve my punishment for this reason alone.


{Your Name}

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